Report: Virgin Pledges are unsuccessful

Jason Wenell — Mon, 05 Jan 2009 07:12:44 +0000

Recently my wife and I took our two nieces out to talk to them about purity. They know the in’s and out’s of sex and are already feeling the pressures at school at the age of 14. The school had taught them all about protection as well as the benefits of abstinence but we wanted to really make it special to them. We wanted to make sure they knew how important this beautiful thing is and how amazing their spouse will feel when they know that they had waited for them.

We made it a big deal…We made them queens for the night, and took them to one of the nicest restaurants in town, and at the end of the meal presented them with promise rings. We asked them to make a commitment that night, not for us, but for themselves. And we wanted to make sure they knew that we were there for them if they ever needed support (and by support I mean I will find the boy and teach him a lesson in manners, if you know what I mean…if a little bigshot trys to be suave)

The thing that kept coming to my mind as we spoke to them about making a purity commitment was the night my parents took me out. They gave me a white gold chain over a nice dinner and told me it was a symbol of my commitment to my wife. It was a beautiful idea…I would save myself in the light of respecting my wife and God. Then the pain came rushing into my head as I remembered the white gold chain dangling on my neck as I had sex for the first time….I remember wanting to throw it in the lake afterwards. She wasn’t my wife, and I broke my promise. As we spoke to our nieces, I couldn’t help but wonder if this night would make a difference in their life. I had all the right intentions and believe me, the chain helped remind me time after time why I was turning down sex with girls. But in the end I failed and the chain became a reminder of my mistake. I don’t know why a recent report about purity commitments suprised me, since myself and many other guys I know lost their virginity before they were married as well but I still am. The study reports that:

Teenagers who pledge to remain virgins until marriage are just as likely to have premarital sex as those who do not promise abstinence and are significantly less likely to use condoms and other forms of birth control when they do, according to a study released today.

The new analysis of data from a large federal survey found that more than half of youths became sexually active before marriage regardless of whether they had taken a “virginity pledge,” but that the percentage who took precautions against pregnancy or sexually transmitted diseases was 10 points lower for pledgers than for non-pledgers.

“Taking a pledge doesn’t seem to make any difference at all in any sexual behavior,” said Janet E. Rosenbaum of the Johns Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public Health, whose report appears in the January issue of the journal Pediatrics. “But it does seem to make a difference in condom use and other forms of birth control that is quite striking.”

Is it all for nothing? Do the words have no effect? Or are they only words in the heat of the moment? Did it work for you? Did you take a purity pledge and make it? Please post your success story in the comments if you have one.

To view the entire study article, click below

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2008/12/28/AR2008122801588.html?hpid=topnews

10 Reasons to Wait on Sex

tmanzer — Mon, 01 Dec 2008 10:53:26 +0000

1. God reserves sex for marriage. Hebrews 13:4, “Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.”

2. (fear)If a person cannot wait to have sex until marriage? What might happen when married and commitment is tested? How faithful will they be once they are married? Do they have self-restraint?

3. You can look your kids in the eye and say I waited for your mom/dad and I know you can wait. I want T.J. and Jennifer to save themselves sexually for marriage. They receive enough bad messages from the media and others; I want the big gun testimony, “Do as I did!”

4. No images/fantasies in the mind of past partners. You can have a single-mind for your mate. (this would be a good time to talk about how porn effects a relationship but the topic is pre-marriage sex)

5. Sex rules in a dating relationship! Sex covers all red flags. So a couple does not develop socially, emotionally or spiritually. Sex is the stupid factor in relationships. In the heat of the moment sex does not seem stupid but the out-come has very painful results.

6. Sex removes the couple and the male out of God’s chain of authority. God has given men spiritual leadership in the dating relationship. If you make decisions against the will of God while dating, a man will have much more of a difficult time restoring the spiritual authority as a husband. Repentance and forgiveness will be necessary. I still believe in GRACE but I also believe that it is better to obey now then later.

7. As a male we are to protect our mates. This protection needs to start in the dating relationship. If you do not protect her purity, her future and her relationship with God; -now; how will she know that you will protect her in the future?

8. Harmony with God is affected by disobedient behavior. Prayer is the first causality. If you are dating someone and you do not pray together, then there could be a disobedience issue with God in the relationship. If you can not pray together now do not assume you will be able to pray as a married couple. Pre- marriage sex can be a reason that relationship with God is distant.

9. How strong a marriage foundation do you want? Matthew 7:24-27,”Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. 25The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock. 26But everyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on sand. 27The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell with a great crash.” You have been warned!

10. It works! My wife and I can testify to the truth that God’s commands are for our blessing and not to harm us! We can also testify that this truth can lead to great sex in marriage. (ask My Wife if you have questions on this point)

Prodigal Magazine » purity

Report: Virgin Pledges are unsuccessful

10 Reasons to Wait on Sex