You see, I have been talking about leadership since day one. Each entry contains fundamental leadership building blocks that will help you be successful. They may not teach you specific skills, but these characteristics that God is trying to build, strengthen, and maintain in your life will play much more significant roles in your success than any tips I can give you about interviewing, goal-setting, or P&L analysis.

For example, I tend to focus a lot of attention on perseverance. This is a key leadership trait that is severely lacking in today’s “instant-gratification” society that believes if at first you don’t succeed, just give up! The devil knows the difference between success and failure or victory and defeat is often just staying the course through adversity. Therefore, it’s no accident that overcoming is a key theme in the book of Revelation, because Jesus knew we would struggle with that characteristic in these end times.

The trials we will face and the obstacles we will have to overcome are going to get worse, not better, as we draw nearer to the tribulation. So the devil wants to perpetuate a victims’ mentality in the lost and a “life of convenience” mentality in the saved. Either way, it’s a recipe for disaster. Perseverance is a much better strategy, and today’s leaders must model that for their subordinates as well as set it as an expectation for them to follow.

Other subjects I’ve covered are joy, consistency, quality work versus quantity of work, and mentoring. While all of these are excellent subjects to read about, only mentoring is an obvious leadership trait. However, by maintaining those other qualities in your life and your endeavors, you are strengthening your overall leadership skills by sowing the right seeds.

Let me explain. By sowing seeds of joy in your life, you will reap a harvest of joy. It has to be this way, because God said you reap what you sow (Gal 5:7). He also proves it in the world around us: if you plant green beans, you get green beans, not corn! For most men, our greatest level of contentment or discontentment is derived from our work (see Gen. 2:15 if you want to know why). Therefore, if you’re in leadership, and you sow seeds of joy into your life, it would take a giant leap of doubt to expect anything less than successful leadership, because unsuccessful leadership would not lead to joy or contentment, but just the opposite!

So as you read these blogs, try to envision how you might work these character qualities into your life—both on the job and off—and you will see how they build upon each other to enhance your Christian character and improve your ability to lead.

Leadership and mentoring both come with a significant amount of heartache, so I’d like to tackle the more negative aspects of mentoring before we jump into the fun stuff! Don’t worry, it won’t last long!

I know from personal experience that it can be frustrating when you invest your time, talent, and treasure in another person, and that person ultimately ends up failing. It’s easy to step back and blame yourself—a good leader will always do that—and it’s also easy to want to throw in the towel. If you’re at all like me, you probably feel as though you’ve been kicked in the stomach, and that’s a feeling nobody wants repeated with the next protégé!

So why keep doing it? Why put so much of yourself out there when you never really know if it’s going to pay off or bite you in the rear? That’s what we’re going to talk about today.

First of all, we must approach all of life, including leadership, from a Christian perspective. Jesus felt the same frustrations, and the gospels record a number a times when many disciples deserted Him. In fact, after spending three years mentoring His inner circle of friends, one of them betrayed Him, another denied Him, and all of them ran for their lives when He got arrested. Talk about getting kicked in the stomach! I would imagine the emotional pain of that night far outweighed the physical pain of His beating and crucifixion!

And, yet, knowing what was to come, He still chose those twelve. He still took them under his wing, and poured Himself fully into them. Why? Was He crazy?

No, He chose them because they had the right stuff. For those of you who don’t know, the right stuff is a technical term that many leaders use to define what attributes make a good leader! We often choose to mentor people, not because of their particular skill-set, but because of the character qualities they possess. Like Jesus, we look for those who can follow now and lead later.

And just like the disciples, who later led the newborn Christian Church quite successfully, we can’t necessarily see what’s going to happen to our protégés when they leave the nest. You see, if our goal in mentoring is only to impact our own success, we are not truly mentoring. Our goal should always be to impact peoples’ lives.

This means we may get kicked in the stomach a few times, but by pouring ourselves into others, we are sowing seeds that will reap a harvest in their lives and our own. We cannot be unsuccessful when we approach mentoring from this perspective because The Law of the Harvest—you reap what you sow (Gal. 6:7)—is a universal law. It cannot be circumvented.

You must also realize that failure is part of our natural maturation process. So you will fail in your mentoring from time to time, and your protégés will sometimes fail in their protégé-ing (like my new word?). God loves humility, and the only way to breed this in His children is to allow failure in our lives. If we always succeed, it’s easy—especially for us Type A personalities—to get cocky and feel invincible. That’s dangerous ground, and God doesn’t want us on dangerous ground unless He puts us there.

Your reaction to the kick in the stomach can be a mentoring tool in itself. Have you considered that? The last time a protégé “fled” from you, how did you handle it? If you harbored bitterness or resentment, you may have inadvertently laid a foundation for that person to react the same way when it happens to him or her. And it will.

So what would Jesus do? Cliché as it may sound, you should ask yourself this question before you react to any situation, especially when someone hurts or angers you. Mercy triumphs over judgment (James 2:13) and God cannot forgive you unless you forgive others (Matt. 7:2), so it’s probably best if you approach these wounds as growth opportunities!

Regardless, mentoring is intrinsic to good leadership, so even if you tried to give up on it, I’m sure most of you couldn’t! Knowing that, some of the above advice may help, and if not, you may just want to drop your breastplate a little lower to soften those kicks!

Next time, we’ll continue to look at the role mentoring plays in defining great leaders, so tune in then…

Apparently, it worked because here you are reading it. Today’s subject is consistency, something we all probably struggle with from time to time. I wrestle with it constantly; in fact, the one thing I’m consistent with is being inconsistent. (In case you’ve ever wondered what an oxymoron is, I just gave you a great example: consistently inconsistent!) I start strong, with plenty of momentum, but as time goes on, I slow down and have difficulty maintaining a steady pace to the finish.

I work in the “what have you done for me lately” industry, and you probably do too, so how do we overcome this problem? Do we just shrug it off as part of our personality—a character flaw that we and everyone else just has to deal with? Or do we look at it as an opportunity for growth—a character flaw that God wants to use to help us mature? (Sorry, folks, there is no third option!)

I’m going to assume everyone picked the second choice, so that’s where I’m going with this column (big shocker, right?!) The mo is probably the easy one for most of you. A great idea quickly becomes an outstanding plan, and the plan gets set into motion with plenty of excitement and passion behind its execution.

Sooner or later, though, that passion begins to fade as the excitement wears off. It’s just like all those old Christmas presents that get lost in a closet somewhere—you know, the ones you just couldn’t live without and bugged your parents for months to get you! That’s the fizzle. Below are some tips that have helped me and should help you too. (If not, call my lawyer—he’ll issue you a full refund for the purchase price of this blog!)

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 explains the notion of power in numbers. Although all four verses are important, I’d like to expand on a couple specific concepts in this passage. In verse 11, the obvious translation is that the two people share body warmth, but this phrase can also be indicative of sexually lying together and sharing or igniting passion. This, I believe, is just as important as the way it’s written in English because the passion of others in a group is often the key ingredient to keeping a project or idea moving forward to the finish line. Just as one match can ignite an entire book of matches, one passionate contributor can ignite the whole team!

Additionally, the second half of verse 12 takes the entire concept of these four verses to the next level. The power of two is identified as the subject matter in verse 9, and the next three verses build on that idea. But the last sentence of the scripture grouping says, “a cord of three strands is not quickly broken,” implying that if two are better than one, it stands to reason that three are better than two, four are better than three, and so on.

Next, it’s important to keep your eye on the prize. Paul tells us not to “become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up” (Gal 6:9). This verse is chock full of good nuggets—whole books have been written on The Law of the Harvest—but we’re just going to skim off the curd so to speak and look at two key points here.

The first is in understanding the Law of the Harvest as a whole: “you reap what you sow” (Gal. 6:7). When you set a plan in motion, you have an end goal in mind. You will reach this goal if you have a good strategy and you execute it fully. That’s the promise in reaping what you sow. God can’t lie, so you can’t not reach your goal if you continue to execute. Typically, the fizzle gains momentum the more we shift our focus off the prize and onto the obstacles. One thing you can do to minimize this is begin to train yourself to look for the opportunity in every obstacle, because that’s really all obstacles are… opportunities in disguise.

The second critical point is grasping what “proper time” means. The Greek term literally means, its own fixed and definite time. In other words, God has already set the harvest time for your project long before you even thought of it. It is a fixed point in time, and that point in time was set aside solely for that particular reaping! Most of us struggle with staying consistent because we usually can’t see that place in time.

Consider a farmer who plants in the spring. He knows the harvest comes in the fall, so he doesn’t agonize in June or July when his crops aren’t ready. He waits until the proper time, and continues to do what’s necessary to ensure a good harvest. The same is true with pregnancy. Even though most women get extremely tired of being pregnant, they don’t start to fret about going into labor until the end of the third trimester.

Just because the end point isn’t clear in your particular case doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist. The simple fact is that God uses the Law of the Harvest to teach us faith, among other things. He allows us to see the order and set times in other things like farming and pregnancy, so we can believe there are also set times for the things we’re striving for.

If you combine what’s in today’s blog with my last blog (Plugging Into Joy), which talks about perseverance, you should at least be able to start to tackle the fizzle in your life. Just believe and go forward; it won’t happen overnight, but it will happen at the proper time!

What about that attracts the unbeliever to Christ? Why would anyone want to follow Christ when all Christianity appears to offer is the same bowl of despair with ten scoops of commandments mixed in!

What we often fail to realize is that we are not guaranteed happiness here on earth. Jesus says, “in this world you will have trouble” (John 16:33). But He finishes by saying, “take heart! I have overcome the world.” The phrase, take heart, means to have courage or be bold. In other words, stay the course and walk toward the “kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world” (Matt. 25:34).

“OK, fine,” you say. “I’m to be courageous and keep walking like a good little Veggie Tale! (see Josh & the Big Wall). But that doesn’t help me put a smile on my face and project non-misery to the secular world around me!”

You’re right. It doesn’t. You need to learn how to plug into the deep well of joy that is available to you right now and everyday you’re here. And here’s how: “consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything” (James 1:2-4).

I’m sure this isn’t the first time you’ve heard or read this portion of scripture, but what does it really mean? Well…I’ll tell you! It means that joy is ongoing. It is a state of being contrary to happiness, which is temporary. Joy is based on a heart condition—a vertical perspective that focuses on God—and happiness is a circumstantial condition—a horizontal perspective that focuses on the things around us.

Most people look at these verses as a commandment: “life sucks, but be happy anyway,” is how I’ve heard them interpreted! However, that’s a million miles from what’s really written here. James has actually told us how to achieve joy by telling us how to achieve intimacy with God.

The Christian walk today is not so different from what it was when the New Testament was written, or even from what it was in the Old Testament. In fact, the things that happened to the Israelites are recorded as examples to help guide us in our own faith journeys. How did God’s chosen people respond to Him? When things were good (and they were happy), they ignored Him and turned to other gods. But when times were tough—and they were facing trials of many kinds—they turned to Him because they knew He could and would help them!

Unfortunately, this is how selfish we are! It has always been God’s desire to have an intimate relationship with us, but we manage to find so many other things to occupy our thoughts, our energy, and our time. We need trials to keep us coming to Him. If you’re never hungry, you won’t eat, right?

So that’s step one…coming to the throne when we’re in need. This develops perseverance, which means cheerful and hopeful endurance. But perseverance must finish its work, making us mature and complete, which simply means getting us to become proactive rather than reactive. In other words, through the reactive nature of our relationship with God, we’ll grow to the point where we realize that staying near to God, and developing intimacy with Him through good times and bad, is the only real place we find what we’re looking for: joy!

It is this place—this state of being—that will reach out to the secular world and attract others to Christ. It is the natural result of plugging into joy! So just do it! (This blog is not sponsored by Nike!)

As you look at opportunities or teams to get involved in, whether it is work, a hobby or a passion, never go if you will be the best player in the band. When you are the best player on the band, or the fastest player on the team, there is no where to go but down. Here is why:

• Everyone wants you to be a little worse at what you do, to reduce the distance between you and them, for their own guilt or self-worth.
• You won’t be stretched, so you will get lazy and out of discipline because on most days you won’t need to be to still come in first on that team.
• It will kill your initiative to learn, because you will be answering questions so often that to you are simplistic, and you won’t have as much desire to push on.
• You will eventually get bored with what seemed like the dream job – where you would start as top dog, but you end up just being the fastest fat guy around.

Fuming, I walked away from the disaster which had just transpired.  Then, I gathered a couple colleagues and we all came to the determination that a follow-up conversation was necessary.  I wasn’t looking forward to it.  I hate the type of conversation I knew was necessary.  But, after chewing and brewing on my own feelings of disrespect and anger, I summoned the employee to my office, fully ready to unleash a tirade.  Needless to say, things didn’t go so well.

I’ve never been the type of person who enjoys relational conflict.  Yes, I was a hockey player.  Which I know should make me tough as nails, but on the ice I always had pads and a stick to protect myself if trouble arose.  Off the ice, in the office, there are no pads and sticks, only words and fists.  And I’ve spent most of my life doing all I can to avoid any type of stressful, emotion-filled encounter and the accusations, yelling, denials, anger, hostility, and potential violence relational conflicts often create.

However, in my current job as a manager, I have had to face my inner fears.  Not that I have become a big jerk who revels in running around the office red-faced and hollering at everyone, but I’ve come to learn the importance of holding people accountable to do their jobs and do what is right.  This means there are times when I must have tough conversations with individuals who are missing the mark in some way or another. 

By no means am I now a pro at this.  Undoing 27 years of avoidance doesn’t happen overnight.  Having corrective conversations with people is still a skill in my leadership repertoire that needs some development.  No matter how many times I do it, when I know I’m going to sit an employee down and deliver a hard message, the fear monster from my past arises within me and tries to dissuade me from taking action.  He works overtime, trying to persuade me to ignore the problem and avoid a confrontation. But following through on these situations is essential. It helps me develop the disciplinary edge that all great leaders have in some form and it holds employees accountable – all of which contributes to strong leadership and great results for the company.

I consider myself on a leadership journey.  If you are on a manager on leadership journey of your own, here are 5 tips for having those hard conversations with your employees.

 
1. Gather the facts and have a plan

Don’t have a hard conversation off the cuff.  What usually happens if you do, is that you get flustered, which can lead to you missing the point or saying things you don’t really mean.  Take a second beforehand to think through exactly what you want to say in your conversation.  Make a list of all the facts if need be.  It is also beneficial to try and predict any possible objections the other person might have so that you can have a response prepared ahead of time.

2. Make sure your emotions are in check

We’ve all experienced the need for this technique at one time or another.  When tempers are flaring things almost always get blown out of proportion and more harm is done than good.  It is best to take a brief ‘cool down’ period to let the emotions settle.  Then you can sort out what you want to focus on the most and communicate that effectively.

3. Engage the other person as quickly as possible

My tendency, when I knew a hard conversation was needed, was to put if off until another time or day.  I would make excuses why ‘now’ wasn’t the right time.  Unfortunately, this would lead to never having the conversation all together.  Now I make it a point to force myself to engage the other person in a timely manner.  When you have conversations in a quickly the issue is still fresh in the minds of all parties and it is much more difficult for excuses to be made as to why the inappropriate behavior or performance occurred.

4. Focus on a person’s positives and value first

One fatal flaw in the conversation I referenced at the beginning of this article is that I didn’t realize I was dealing with a person who was feeling under-appreciated and unvalued.  Since that day, I put in the effort to start out all my corrective conversations by praising the other person for the things they are doing well.  I try to communicate how much I value them.  After establishing the worth of the other person, I can express to them what needs to change in a way that is less likely to lead to defensiveness and anger.

5. Always be consistent with the enforcement of your expectations

When building a reputation as a manager you must be consistent in the enforcement of your expectations.  Corrective conversations are much easier when all parties know you are simply following through on what you demand of your people.  Being consistent takes away the excuse of the other person that you are picking on them or singling them out.  Avoiding any appearance of favoritism will go a long way in establishing your credibility as a leader.

Conclusion

Corrective conversations are never easy.  I still wrestle with that wimpy internal voice that tells me to just overlook an infraction and avoid a confrontation.  But strong leaders must hold their people accountable.  Having hard conversations, in the right way, builds a stronger workplace because people know that, on the one hand they valued, and on the other hand, they will be held accountable for their actions. 

I’ve since had to have another corrective conversation with the employee I mentioned earlier.  This time I gathered the facts and had a plan, kept my emotions in check, engaged him quickly, focused on his positives and value first, and reminded him of my consistent enforcement of the expectations.  Needless to say, things went very well!