I think our basic human nature is naturally negative so we tend to look at the bad things in life instead of the good.  Also, it seems to me, we are conditioned by our society. Bad news makes the headlines–we are literally bombarded with all that is wrong with everything–it tends to develop in us the habit of complaining.

But we should be different. Here’s what the Apostle Paul said,

“Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe.” Philippians 2:14-15

Jesus help us! This tells me we are supposed to live our lives and do our ministries without complaining! Sometimes we ‘whine’ and says things like: “it’s just not fair”, “people don’t really appreciate me”, “I don’t deserve this”, “I shouldn’t have to put up with this or how come the other guy gets all the breaks?”

The truth is, life is unfair and so is ministry but as long as we complain it only makes us more miserable!  This I know; complaining does not work. I have tried it with my wife!  She will just say, “O shut up!” She has a way with words!

Seriously, complaining brought judgment to Israel and it does the same to us today. We miss out on God’s best. If the Scripture says we are to “do everything without complaining…”then perhaps here are some things that may help:

● We have to admit we are guilty. “A man who refuses to admit his mistakes can never be successful. But if he confesses and forsakes them, he gets another chance.” Prov. 28:13 LB

If our speech was recorded for a week, what would it reveal about our words? Let’s not spend time griping, grumping, complaining, arguing and saying things like “life/ministry stinks.”

● We have to stop blaming others.  Life and ministry is what we make it—plain and simple.  Of course there are trials and people are unreasonable but we are free to make choices, however, we are never free from the consequences of our choices. They may not be immediate but they will be eventual. [Selah]

● We have to realize God uses difficult times to grow us–if we handle them right. Here goes Paul again, “This small and temporary trouble we suffer will bring us a tremendous and eternal glory, much greater than the trouble. So we fix our attention, not on the things that are seen, but on the things that are unseen. What is seen lasts only for a time, but what cannot be seen lasts forever.” 2 Cor. 4:17-18 GN

-Paul is saying that the good we will get out of our problems will be much more long lasting than the problem.  For me, I have noticed the things I complain about the most are often the very things God knows I need the most in order to become all He wants me to be.  It is a warning light of God.  He is saying, “There is something wrong here.  Stop complaining and start changing!”

At a Discipleship Camp years ago, one of speakers shared the following on the results of complaining?

1. It absolutely poisons the air.
2. Deflates morale. People start feeling uncomfortable with each other.
3. Hinders vision. Cuts off what God is trying to do.
4. Shows a lack of trust/faith.
5. Keep you from God’s best–The Promise Land.

Pretty good stuff! One more from Paul–Philippians 2:14-15 needs to be the complainers Rhema Word! “Do everything without complaining or arguing…” then there are 3 results:

1. “…so that you may become blameless…” — nobody can find fault with you! Nobody can point a finger at you.
2. “…and pure…” — Greek word means ‘having integrity.’ Non-complainers are people of integrity. You cannot trust a complainer—they do not tell the full story—facts are they lie.
3. “…children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe.” – you become positive in a negative world! A positive person shine likes a star on a dark night—there are plenty of critical, put-down type people in this ole world—we are to be different.

“Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” 1 Thess. 5:18 NIV

“…I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances.” Phil. 4:11 NIV

Being happy and joyful in spite of circumstance is called maturity.

Eight years ago, September 11, 2001, America was attacked by Islamic terrorists. Shortly after, our nation went to war against those who perpetrated this evil. It has been a long and costly struggle. And today, as then, those of us who follow Jesus continually weigh that cost and wonder, “What is the Godly response to violence and injustice?” For 2,000 Christians have debated this question and different streams of our faith have answered it differently. For some, a violent response to violence is never justified. For others, war, while never desirable is sometimes, and under some conditions the better of several bad options.

On, Sunday, September 16, 2001 I addressed the congregation of North Heights Lutheran Church, in St. Paul, Minnesota. Below is manuscript of that message. We’re eight years removed from those terrible days, yet the questions still present themselves. While there are other Biblical perspectives, here is one “Christian” answer to the question, “Is war ever justified?”

Jesus’ words are inconvenient today. As the days pass and the horror of the New York and Washington attacks settle into the cracks in our souls, one bitter question still resounds: how do we love these enemies? In the first days we stumbled through cycles of crushing emotion. That first Tuesday was sat around kitchen tables, or in office cubicles in stunned disbelief. On Wednesday we stood awkwardly over our children’s beds trying to comfort their fears. On Thursday we lay awake into the night, haunting images of falling towers and weeping widows playing in our brains. On Friday we prayed, a nation so awkward on her knees. On Saturday we woke with the bile of rage fuming in our bellies: war, at once everywhere and no-where with each one of us a citizen soldier alongside the tireless firemen in Manhattan and the heroic hostages who stormed the cockpit over Pennsylvania. On Sunday, we walked into familiar worship spaces looking for some stitch to seam up the tatters. And what did we find? Jesus’ words agitating rather than comforting our souls. “Love your enemies. Do good to those who hate you.”

The war, we are told is progressing into new theaters. But our rage is still very real. And it is good rage. Anger like ours is a sign of health, for our morally lethargic society is finally calling something absolutely evil. Some wonder, “is this God’s judgment; has our sin removed God’s protective hand?” Perhaps. But God never begets chaos. He is, even now using it to bring about his better purposes, but such carnage is nothing but the spawn of Hell. These deeds were evil and we are right to respond with anger.

But right anger is a dangerous companion. It can so easily turn and pollute our souls. Animals lash back against assault in a chemical, defensive instinct. We know this impulse, for we are, on one level, animals. But we are not mere animals. We are spirit creatures made in God’s image, called by God to rule our instincts with spirit. So we must distinguish righteous anger from vengeful wrath.

And we draw this line with love. Yes, love – the startling marriage of anger and love. Which leads then to a first question: How can I love my enemies when there is not a flicker of natural tenderness within me? In one sense this is the essence of being Christian: we can never do any command of Jesus. In fact the entire Christian life is impossible. Only Jesus can be a Christian, and only Jesus can live his will and way through me. As Dr. Morris Vaagenes is so fond of saying: “I can’t, you can, please do, thank you…”

But then, a second question: how do I love my enemies… or more accurately, how do I let Jesus love them through me? Here we find some surprises.

We bless them. Paul speaks directly: “Bless those who curse you” (Romans 12:14). Now “to bless” is something far more than to simply “wish the best.” Covenant blessing is a supernatural release of grace from one person to another, an unction that the blessed one might fulfill their supernatural destiny. Jacob (Genesis 49) “blesses” his 12 sons that they might each live out their intended purposes. To bless is to literally impart upon someone the presence of God, which will mean goodness as well as judgment. To bless our enemies is to ask that the weight of God’s fullness would be heavy upon them, and that they would submit under the pressure of His holiness, and realize the full potential of their lives.

Now to bless Muslims has particular significance. For our Muslim cousins (even those few who sanction this kind of holy war against the West) are aching for such favor from God. Their bitter hunger goes back to Genesis 21 when Ishmael the son of Abraham not granted the promise of covenant was sent away to the desert to live by his own wits and strength. And in the desert Ishmael’s children remain – the Arabs of today. The good news we bring to them is that in Jesus the same blessing of Isaac is available to all Gentiles – to Ishmaelites as well the rest of us. What they bitterly fight to gain can be theirs by faith! So we bless our Muslim cousins with the knowledge of the favor of God’s covenant for them.

We pray for them. Jesus directs us: “pray for those who persecute you” (Matthew 5:44). Why pray? Prayer is an act of intentional passivity, asking God to act where we can not. Before Nehemiah confronted Artaxerxes, the Persian King who held the Jews in exile he prayed. As a result, God bent the man’s intention (Nehemiah 1:10, 2:4). We might strike an enemy’s physical life, but no human can reach in to alter the heart or intent of another soul. In fact whenever one soul tries to bend the will of another, the effort ends in bitterness. God however can mold motives and attitudes, even the intentions of our enemies. In this, our greatest weapon against their violence is prayer for their souls.

We forgive them. In the prayer Jesus taught us we utter: “Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass…” Forgiveness is imperative! In fact if we do not forgive, even the worst offenses against us, we ourselves are not forgiven (Matt. 6:14). But what is genuine forgiveness? It is not a warm emotion. It is not mustering the will to “like” our foes, or overlook their offense. Biblical forgiveness is a legal matter, a covenant agreement. When we forgive we release a justified charge against another and in the process turn the prosecution over to God. He will exact the justice. Paul says it this way: “Leave room for God’s wrath.” And so we shall. By forgiving, we step aside and let God lift his leveling hand. And He does and will. For all his ways are just, and unlike our imperfect vindictive forces, His wrath is strategically redemptive.

We overcome them. Evil begets more evil. But when we intervene to “overcome evil with good” (Romans 12:21) we turn evil deeds to an end their perpetrators did not intend. Joseph wept before his brothers saying “you intended to harm me, but God intended it for good” (Genesis 50:20). Paul (Philippians 1:12) claims that the injustice of imprisonment was turned to good because he redeemed the situation and made it an opportunity to share the gospel with Roman soldiers.

But how is this love for our enemies? When we do good in the face of evil we stop some of the affect of wickedness. We cover some of their guilt and lesson their eternal accountability for havoc wrought in God’s order. The heroic deeds of firemen, the blood donated, the financial gifts to families have birthed good in the world that was not here before September 11. And thus heroic love intended for helpless victims turns out, ironically, to be merciful love for the terrorists, for it dims their shame.

We stop them. Love has many faces. And there are times when we must lift a hand and halt the evil. Revenge belongs to God (Romans 12:19). Still, at times we must institute force to stop the chaos of wickedness. Jesus himself was not above using force in his ministry. He did so in the temple when he turned the tables of usury (Luke 19:42). This proves true, even if that force involves death. “Turning the other cheek” is a personal strategy for love. In corporate arena’s love takes on more complicated expressions. In the original language the commandment is “thou shalt not murder” not “thou shalt not kill.” Dietrich Bonhoeffer made a choice to join an assassination plot against Hitler, and he called it love, love for the victims but also for Hitler himself. How? C.S. Lewis, echoing St. Augustine who wrote of “just war” says that love must sometimes act forcefully. If we believe in an eternal judgment then stopping an evil person, even by killing him, can be merciful, for it stops him from further polluting the world and thus incurring darker damnation upon himself and those he influences. Worse things than death can beset a human soul.

Since September 11, 2001, all this dense theology is suddenly starkly relevant for us. We are a nation at war. But we are not the first to face this question of right violent resistance. Every generation of followers of Jesus has wrestled with the reality: some of you in the Second World War, in Korea, in Vietnam, in the Gulf, or as police officers or reservists today. Our purpose, as Christian-Americans is 1) to prayerfully and faithfully support our government and 2) to stand as a prophetic voice reminding our government of the love and mercies of God. Even in the midst of military fury we must insist that militant actions be driven not by vengeful wrath, but by aggressive, persistent, creative love, love in forms that on the surface may not look familiar, but are nonetheless vigilant mercies.

]]> http://www.prodigalmagazine.com/when-love-means-war/feed/ 1 http://www.prodigalmagazine.com/fight-like-jesus-iii-free-e-book/ http://www.prodigalmagazine.com/fight-like-jesus-iii-free-e-book/#comments Thu, 13 Aug 2009 15:36:42 +0000 mherringshaw http://prodigalmagazine.com/?p=3065 “Be quiet!”

“Suddenly, a man in the synagogue who was possessed by an evil spirit began shouting, “Why are you interfering with us, Jesus of Nazareth? Have you come to destroy us? I know who you are—the Holy One sent from God!” Jesus cut him short. “Be quiet! Come out of the man,” he ordered. At that, the evil spirit screamed, threw the man into a convulsion, and then came out of him (Mark 1:23-26 NLT).

Where is the devil attacking you?

Your enemy is talking.  What are you going to do?  His imps are poisoning the air with the half-truths of white lies. Loser!” one sneers. “Look, they’re laughing at you…” “She always gets her way…” “Go ahead, no one is looking…” “Why not, you deserve it….”  “This will never work for you!” “Make him live to regret that…” Today will be noisy, inside your head and out.

But what do you expect? You are in a war of words. Say something!

Jesus faced noisy days. In chapter one of Mark’s Gospel a demon with no tongue of his own used a broken man to vomit blasphemies. “What do you want with us? Have you come to destroy us?” Jesus showed it no tolerance. “Be quiet!” he said. “Come out!” The demon gagged on its own babble, winced and fled. Then Jesus gave the man a new life.

“Be quiet” was enough. Just two words fired a shot heard round the Universe. Jesus faced-down his foes directly, simply, and violently: “Let there be quiet!”

Your enemy is talking. What are you going to do? Talk back! Today you will face noise.  Your enemy intends to dismantle the world. “Let there not be…” he says. But you will not stay silent. You will show no mercy. You will borrow Jesus’ words in Jesus’ name and shut down the nonsense.

Answer envy: “Be quiet!” Answer suspicion: “Be quiet!” Answer distrust and fear and self-pity and lust and anger and gluttony and pride: “Be quiet!” Inside your own soul and on behalf of others, put these two words to work. Then rest easy.

Your mission: Listen carefully for the slightest deception. Listen for the inaudible, invisible source of the lie. When you identify your target, take aim. Then from under your breath let fly the borrowed words, in Jesus’ name: “Be quiet!” Then rest as the racket dies away.

Question: “Where is the devil attacking?”  Answer: “Be quiet!”

FREE RESOURCE :::..

“Be quiet!”
“Be clean!”
“Be still!”
“Be free!”
“Be unafraid!”
“Be opened!
“Be careful!”
“Be yours!”
“Be alert!”
Words of Jesus from The Gospel of Mark

Say something, for God’s sake!  When Jesus shows up things happen. When he shows up he uses words and the world is recreated. Words are Jesus’ weapon of choice and his tool of design. He could hurl lightning bolts, or split mountains with his fist, or with a wave of his hand toss the armies of the planet into the sea. Instead, Jesus says things. For words, when they are the right words, spoken by the right messenger, are enough.

At the start of his ministry Jesus explained his mission in words that Isaiah the Prophet had borrowed from God:“The Spirit of the Lord is on me,
because he has anointed me
to preach good news to the poor.
He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners
and recovery of sight for the blind,
to release the oppressed,  to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor”
Luke 4:17-19.

Jesus claimed this as his commission – to proclaim things as they ought to be. Everything Jesus does follows what he first says; and everything Jesus says echoes what God said seven centuries earlier through Isaiah.

·         Jesus’ words fed those in need. With words he turned water to wine and multiplied bread and fish – twice. Jesus’ words were enough to make enough and make provision a sign of his regime.

·         Jesus’ words pardoned the guilty. With words he declared a leper “clean” and a prostitute “forgiven.” Jesus’ words were enough, with grace enough to make pardon a sign of his regime.

·         Jesus’ words healed the broken. With words he declared a blind man whole and dead girl alive. Jesus’ words were enough, with power enough to make healing a sign of his regime.

·         Jesus’ words expelled demons. With words he drove out a legion of spirits and silenced a blasphemer. Jesus’ words were enough, with authority enough to make deliverance a sign of his regime.

·         Jesus’ words revealed Father’s love. With words he told stories of victory in this world and hope in the next. His words were enough, with vision enough to make favor a sign of his regime.

What if following Jesus was really this simple?  Just five things we learn to receive and give away?

It’s a hell of a world and life is hard. The fight we face goes to the death. God created this world with words. Now his Enemy and ours tries to foil God’s plans. His foul mouth steals and bends words that break things and kill people. Jesus came to silence these lies. Their collision has ignited a deadly war of words.

Jesus dealt the decisive blow when he hung on the cross, and said, “It is finished!” Words enough! We follow up and enforce that victory when we borrow Jesus’ words that scatter the devils and repair the damage they have wrought.

When all else fails – and all else will – we borrow Jesus’ words.

Our enemies attack on nine fronts. We meet and defeat them with borrowed words. Jesus fought here ahead of us. He has faced down and turned back every assault. As followers of Jesus we do the same by simply leveraging what Jesus said in the moment we face battles of our own.

We do not presume to be like Jesus. Only Jesus is Jesus. We speak Jesus’ words “in Jesus’ name” which means “on Jesus’ behalf.” The question is not “What would Jesus do?” but “What is Jesus doing?” and “How can I join him?” Our commission is simple: say what Jesus said! That’s our assignment. For Jesus’ words in our mouths are as Jesus’ words in his.

We will not have the luxury of learning war in theory. Our training comes on the front lines, where we work, live, go to school, and buy our groceries. There we must execute… or be executed.

We are in battle, in a hell of war that is now on earth as it was in heaven. It is a war that will end all wars, a conflict where words always become flesh. So for God’s sake, say something! But choose your words ever so carefully!

In the beginning was the Word; in the end will be the Word. And when all is said and done, all will be done when all is said!

There is always a slight fear in me when I step into the spontaneous, unknown world of

romance. “Will she like it?” “What if it flops?” “Is it selfish?” “What if we get in bad moods

and ruin it?” “Couldn’t I be more productive with this time?” “Wouldn’t it be better to go

straight to bed, than waste good sleep time?”

Abby is much more detail-oriented than I am. When I come up with an idea, she lovingly

questions how it is really going to function. She takes care of the details of things she owns

quite well, and gets upset when they are not cared for. Abby generally adopts new ideas

much more quickly, if they have been primed beforehand.

But this romantic idea was simple and genius, and I believed it would start a spicy, yearly

Christmas tradition in our home. It would go off without a hitch!

During the Christmas season, the first lights to get turned on in the morning and the last

ones to get turned off at night are on our Christmas tree. The thousand little bulbs provide

such a comfy-soft atmosphere, that they scream romance!

After a full Christmas day of gatherings with both of our families, we finally made it home

by nine or ten at night. We both get energized from quieter times in our life, so events that

require much socializing usually leave us both a bit worn. And it’s no secret that the

offspring of tiredness is typically crabbiness.

So we were both a bit on edge as we pulled our Jeep into its parking spot, and rustled

through the incredible fresh snow to our back door. Usually when we are crabby, we avoid

each other by doing things on our to-do list. Productive… yes…but not effective. We hide

behind busyness to avoid the conflict on hand.

But tonight’s conflict was mild. If ten is burning rage, and one is a passing argument, then

our Christmas day crabbiness was like a two. So she distracted herself in the kitchen doing

dishes, and I thought it was the perfect time for me to begin implementing my suave plan.

I went upstairs and began to shred the sheets from our mattress. Three short months of

marriage had released a small amount of wisdom in how to interact lovingly with her

personality. So, I yelled from upstairs, as I lifted the mattress up off of its frame, “I am

planning something, Abby… Have an open mind!” And for emphasis I repeated, “Have an

open mind, babe,” as I rounded the corner to slide the mattress on edge down the stairs.

The mattress slid easily down the wooden stairs. In my giddy excitement, I would have

ridden the thing like a toboggan-if only our stairwell had been wide enough!

I braced myself for the climax of the surprise, as it would soon be revealed to Abby. With

the mattress still on edge, I tentatively rounded the corner at the bottom of the stairs where I

immediately came into direct line of sight of Abby standing at the kitchen sink.

My face was beaming. I was so proud of my idea, and the fact that I was actually

implementing it. Ignoring the crabby, fearful and lazy thoughts, I was really doing it!

Abby’s attention to detail and care for her possessions drew her to speak quick sharp word,

“Are the sheets on that?”

 ”No,” I said and responded quickly hoping to appease her and win her over, “Only the mattress cover!”

“Oh great,” she replied sarcastically, “something even more permanent to get dirty.”

“Calm, David, Calm” I said to myself as I moved the mattress from the hallway to the living

room floor in front of the Christmas tree.

But rage triggered explosively inside me. My mind raced with thoughts. The pain of her

criticism had dug into my core. “She cares more about this *&^(* mattress than about us. I

try to be creative and pursue her; I try to be romantic, and look where it ends up. See if I

ever try anything creative again!”

In a matter of 30 seconds the conflict had jumped from a three to a seven. My kettle was

steaming, so as soon as the mattress hit the floor, I decided to pick it right back up again and

bring it back upstairs to return it to its usual spot. If she cared so much about the mattress,

then from now on it would stay in its nice, safe place in our bedroom. No romantic night

sleeping in front of the Christmas tree for her!

I hoped she would realize how tragic her comments were. I would show her how she had

messed up, and screwed everything up. So, I huffed in child-like stubbornness, hoping my

anger would lead to incredible strength to get the mattress back up the stairs by myself.

I only got halfway up the stairs before I realized that the weight and bulk of the mattress

would prevent me from getting it up the stairs by myself. I would need her help to get the

mattress back up. How annoying to humble myself to ask for her help. I wanted to

“punish” her.

So I relented slightly and asked for her help, but I wouldn’t talk to her anymore. I won’t let

her thaw my icy shoulder. I won’t forgive her for days-or ever. She had to realize how

much she hurt me, and never do something so painful again. She had to learn.

We got it back up the stairs, and I slid it back to our room and then to the frame.

My heart went dormant as rage was now pumping my blood. I hastily made the bed, then

brushed aggressively past Abby, who was standing in the doorway to our room, hoping for

reconciliation. “I will not back down,” I thought. “I am hurt, she has to pay! She owes me. I will

make her pay!”

I did my normal bathroom routine, avoiding the mirror, avoiding the beastly look that must

have been on my face, and climbed into bed. As far as I could get on my side of the bed, I

knew I wouldn’t be able to sleep. I knew we needed to reconcile. I knew she was ready, but

I felt no strength. My rage overpowered me.

We knew we were on the same team, and that someone else was the enemy, not each other.

We had attended a marriage conference before we were married. At this conference, we had

learned that our sin needed to come up, out, onto the cross. We had learned that the cross

would always be where we could come back together. It was like the fork in the road that

we would both return to when there was conflict. Conflict was always a result of one or

both of us leaving the humble foot of the cross and forgetting the freeing work that was

accomplished there. As a result, a month or two into our marriage, we put a 4′ high cross in

our spare bedroom.

That Christmas night, we had both walked away from truth, pledging allegiance and loyalty

to ourselves, not to Christ.

Abby, was the first to humble herself and return to the cross. She was sobbing there, in thes

spare bedroom on her knees, as I was lying in bed raging, wondering how I long I would

have to be silent to her to even up the score. After ten minutes or more Abby came into our

room and gently asked if I was going to join her at the cross. At first, I didn’t even answer.

She asked me again before I responded,

“Yeah, when I am ready, in a little while” I muttered stiffly.

She went back to our spare bedroom and cried out again, “Jesus, we need you!” And

repeated and sobbed again and again, “Jesus, we need you!”

And I heard His voice in my heart saying, “Forgive as I have forgiven you. I have forgiven

you of so much! How can you hold unforgiveness towards her? Pick up the stupid mattress,

take it back downstairs, and invite your wife to join you. That is the only way this will end.”

I could not humble myself. Stubbornness held me pinned to the bed. I wanted revenge. I

would not move. Yet I knew reconciliation was sweet, not to mention how great forgiveness

is. I knew I wanted my life to write a great story, and that reconciliation is foundational for a

great story. But knowing and acting were not aligning.

Somewhere I must have inhaled a mustard seed, because I received just enough push to get

me out from under the covers. I met Abby in the dark room, on her knees in front of the

greatest symbol of healing and reconciliation, the cross. What was frozen, melted. What was

rage, softened. What was hurt, healed. What was judgment, forgiveness. No magic words,

no persuasion, no manipulation. We shared pure humility as we stared our Maker and

Savior in the face at the foot of the cross where He redeemed us from all our junk.

We had experienced our own resurrection! We were dead, but now alive. And life in

marriage is a powerful thing!

We grabbed the mattress together, with the pad still on it, and drug it down the stairs. We

brought down the sheets, and pillows and made the bed in front of the dimly lit tree. With

redeemed energy we undeservedly came together to experience spirit to spirit intimacy under

the tree.

A beautiful, unexpected Christmas gift that we will cherish and re-cherish for years to come.

At the same moment my canoe partner and I both apprehended that we were on a collision course with the big cow moose. Thinking that it may be a bad idea to goose a moose we both decided to try and guide our canoe away from ma-ma.

We both tried to guide the canoe at the same moment from “moose danger” but our uncoordinated reactions canceled each other’s attempt to guide the canoe. So, we managed to turn the canoe sideways in the river. We created the canoe and moose t-bone collision.

We did hit the moose. It was a thrill!!I loved it!! It was about as exciting as being chased by a crazy dog. Big, hairy, moose butt hitting Old Town canoe. We watched in amazement as mom and baby ran down the river splashing water everywhere and then disappeared into the thick Canadian woods.

We would have avoided this moment of excitement if my canoe partner and I had managed to communicate and work together. Instead we both reacted.

I believe that many married couples do the same thing. They face a crisis and then they create a greater disaster by husband and wife reacting independently of each other. By their independent reactions they guarantee a huge crisis for the whole family.  

Most all crises that husbands and wives face are not such an emergency that they do not have the time to communicate and then act together in a thoughtful manner.

1. So slow down!

2. Communicate-“Hey, sweetheart! We are going to hit the moose.”

3. Next step, create a plan, “Hey, sweetheart you steer the canoe, I’ll paddle.”

4. Then do it- “Great idea, let’s go!”

5. Subsequently, move on around the obstacle. “Wow, was that ever close!”