#1 – Buy staples and classics. When we have extra money to spare, buying something that is “in” is much easier. But if you’re on a budget, don’t purchase fad items that will be out of style in 6 months. Sticking to items that are always current will save you from having to reinvent your wardrobe each season. For guys, dark jeans, button-ups, polos, and simple jackets are safe items that allow you expand your wardrobe without worrying about going out of style.

#2 – Sale shop, seriously. I know that the word “sale” makes most guys want to barricade themselves in the den and watch sports all day, but they aren’t as bad as you think, especially in the men’s department. Sales can save you tons of cash, but for some, you might have to redefine the word “sale.” I pride myself on my bargain-shopping ability, and one of my tricks is, I don’t even look at racks that don’t sport a big, red “Clearance” sign. Most clearance sales can save you 50-75% on regular prices. And this time of year is an excellent time to check in with your favorite department store and find out when their end-of-season clearance sale will be. Last year I visited our biggest local chain for the event and paid $1.98 each for about 20 different brand name pieces of clothing.

#3 – Lose the arrogance. Many of us have an inner, unspoken issue with shopping at thrift and consignment shops, and now is a good time to relieve ourselves of it. Not only is there nothing wrong with purchasing used clothing, it’s fiscally, environmentally, and socially responsible. By visiting these stores, you can find clothing in near perfect condition, all the while saving money, reducing waste by reusing items, and contributing to local charities with your purchase. Most thrift stores have a set day for putting out new items, so call and check to have the best chance of great finds.

#4 – Donate. Sound backwards? Clean out your closet frequently and donate the items you no longer use to a local charity or thrift store. How does that save you money? As long as you get a donation receipt from your chosen location you can claim the items on your federal taxes as charity clothing donations, which can help to increase your tax refund at the end of the year.

#5 - Swap clothes. This is something that ladies love doing, but guys may not be as comfortable with just yet. If you have a good friend who wears near the same size clothing as you, make a deal that if you end up with something in your wardrobe that’s good but doesn’t quite work for you – whether it be size, color, or style – swap with the other person. It can save both of you money and make your wardrobe more specific to what you need.

#6 - Frequent discount stores. We all tend to follow the same shopping patterns by visiting the same stores over and over. Break your patterns by dropping the department stores for discount stores once in a while. Locations such as TJ Maxx, Steinmart, Ross, Marshalls, and others can provide great brands at less expensive prices. But even at these types of stores, avoid the tendency to not question the sticker. Do your best to stick to the mantra, “If it’s not on sale, don’t buy it.”

#7 – Find coupons. Many chain clothing stores place sales papers and coupons in local newspapers each weekend with hopes of drawing in customers. You might be surprised at how many local department stores offer additional discounts on already sale- and clearance-priced items. Taking an additional 20% off a clearance rack item is not only very satisfying, it will show you how little you can actually pay for a name-brand item.

#8 – Know what you already have. All of us tend to shove things in the back of our closets if they’re just not quite right. Take an hour or so and make a full inventory of your closet and dresser. Chances are you’ll find at least an item or two that you forgot you owned.

Some of these tips might seem like they require effort that shouldn’t be exerted for the sake of your wardrobe, but saving money is a great reward. If you think it’s not worth the trouble, just check your receipt when you checkout after a sale. All of us could dial our spending down a bit, and clothing is something that should not define who we are, but should simply be a piece of self-expression. And guys, self-expression can say that you’re stylish without anyone ever knowing what you paid for it.

Now at this point all the girls reading this are saying, “Wow, where do I find such a prince?”  and all the guys are wondering, “What the heck is this dude doing?  Do you know how many chicken wings he could have eaten with that cash!”  Most people are probably in one of those two groups.  But there is also a third group.  This is the Don’t-Spend-God’s-Resources-on-Clothes group.  Be honest, because I know you’re out there.  And what is ringing in your heads are the words of the Apostle Paul to his young apprentice Timothy. 

“…women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire, but with what is proper for women who profess godliness—with good works.“ 

The Feminine Quest for Beauty

Author John Eldredge argues that every little girl is seeking an answer to the same question, “Am I lovely?”  I believe he is right.  I believe he is right because I hear my four year old daughter asking me this question all day long. 

While I’m reading a book she runs up and interrupts me just to show me the princess dress she is proudly wearing.  Before we leave for church she makes it a point to show me the pigtails her mommy put in her hair.  Without words she asks me if she is lovely when she snuggles up to me for a movie.  She asks me when we paint her toe nails together and as she sits cross legged on the floor in her room changing  Barbie’s outfit repeatedly and each time inquiring, “Isn’t her outfit beautiful daddy?”

So, if every girl wants to feel loved and accepted, celebrated and cherished, is Paul condemning this seemingly instinctual feminine quest for beauty?  I don’t think so.

Should Women Dress Up?

The feminine quest for beauty connects nicely with the hope in every man for, in the verbiage of Eldredge, “an adventure to go on and a beauty to rescue.”  There is something in the heart of a man that desires to have a special women that he can call his own.  It is hardwired into him, since the first time in the garden of Eden when Adam met Eve, and men for generations since have been looking for their very own “bone of my bone, flesh of my flesh” moment.

For many men the way their wife looks is a major part of what keeps the husband engaged in the relationship after the adventure of rescuing her is over.  In his book His Needs, Her Needs Dr. William F.Harvey discusses this.  Dr. Harvey argues that many marriage relationships which erode and fall apart over time do so because husbands and wives fail to identify and meet the needs of their spouse.  Sadly, once the chase and the bliss of immature, cupid-esque love goes away, so does the effort of individuals to woo and impress their loved ones.  Throw in a child or two and it is easy for wives to begin trading in their high heels and make-up for baseball hats and sweat suits, while at the same time their husbands stop pursuing them and start pursuing fantasy football fame instead.

What then do we make of the instruction from Paul to Timothy when he wrote that women should dress “ot with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire.”  Was Paul advocating that women completely abstain from wearing nice clothes, doing their hair and wearing jewelry?  Man, I hope not.  I deeply enjoy seeing my wife wearing a pretty dress and heels, complimented by some eye shadow and fancy jewelry. 

The key, I believe, is the context.  The feminine quest for beauty is to find its completion in marriage.  Ultimately a women is wired to look lovely for her husband and to receive the love and security that she craves from him alone.  In turn, he is to continue lavishing all his affection upon her.

The primary concern that Paul is addressing is not whether a Christian woman should dress up, but rather, what does the dress up of a Christian woman communicate to others when she is out in public or in church.  Keeping in mind the surrounding context of the verse, we see that Paul was writing to Timothy on the issue of modesty because the failure of some women to do this in Timothy’s church was distracting others from worshiping Jesus.  In his book, Worldliness: Resisting the Seduction of a Fallen World, Pastor C.J. Mahaney writes,

When the women of the church arrived dressed like this, it’s no surprise that they distracted others from worshiping God. What’s more, through their ostentatious dress they associated themselves with the wealthy (thus separating themselves from the poor) and the ungodly (thus distancing themselves from their fellow church members). Their dress was distracting, and maybe even divisive.

That’s why Paul urges them to dress in “respectable apparel” and “not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire.” He wants the Savior, not seductive style, to be the focus of the church gathering—and indeed, the focus of all of life.

So the real issue wasn’t actually braided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly attire. The issue was—and is—clothing that associates with worldly and not godly values: clothes that say “look at me” and “I’m with the world.”

Like almost everything else, the words of Scripture strike a nerve much deeper than the surface of our lives.  Paul’s words to Timothy are no different.  Mahaney sufficiently summarizes the above point by writing that the real issue in this passage is “the heart and not the hemline.”  The real issue is not whether women should wear jewelry, instead it is an issue of why she is wearing that jewelry and how will it affect those around her. 

But how does a godly woman who is seeking to live in a righteous way know what is and what isn’t acceptable?  Pastor John MacArthur offers some advice,

How does a woman discern the sometimes fine line between proper dress and dressing to be the center of attention? The answer starts in the intent of the heart. A woman should examine her motives and goals for the way she dresses. Is her intent to show the grace and beauty of womanhood?…. Is it to reveal a humble heart devoted to worshiping God? Or is it to call attention to herself, and flaunt her…beauty?  Or worse, to attempt to allure men sexually? A woman who focuses on worshiping God will consider carefully how she is dressed, because her heart will dictate her wardrobe and appearance. 

It is All About the Heart

In a recent sermon series on the OT book Song of Solomon Pastor Mark Driscoll, drawing on the Genesis account of the woman’s creation, repeatedly emphasized the idea that a man, or woman, is to make their spouse their standard of beauty.  Proverbs teaches that a wife is a gift from the Lord.  Therefore, the husband should be laser focused on enjoying  and delighting in his wife alone.  She is to be the apple of his eye and he is to love her with all his heart, as Christ loved the church. 

Then, in turn, the wife is to respond by loving and serving her husband, and doing all that she can to be physically and visually pleasing to him.  This is not a sexist mindset that objectifies women.  It is, rather, a liberating idea that sets women free from having to worry about what the world think of them, and instead, narrows their focus in having only to be concerned with the opinion of one person…her husband, the one who has promised to love her until death and who God has ordained for her to become one flesh with.

So men, take your wives shopping.  And women, pick out something he thinks you look sexy in.  And wear it proudly to please him.  But please, if it is from Victoria’s Secret, leave it at home on Sunday morning.  The rest of us guys, you know, all the ones not married to you, don’t need the distraction.