Prodigal Magazine

Losing Five Months’ Income in the Time it Takes to Read a Short Email

Written by Shawn Smucker Featured Content, Work 14 Comments

When I saw the subject of the email, I knew it wasn’t good news.

Call it a gut feeling. ESP. The Holy Spirit. Whatever. I instantly had this sense that something had gone wrong.

And I was right. My main client had second thoughts on writing their life story. Even though they had given the verbal go ahead, even though we had met a few times, even though I had planned the next six months of my life around this project, and even after making the first of six payments, they changed their mind. They didn’t want to do a book after all.

Five months of income down the drain. My main, present source of income. I felt sick to my stomach.

* * * * *

Of Christianity’s four main pillars (Incarnation, Death, Resurrection and Redemption), the one that has often escaped me the most is Incarnation.

This “becoming flesh and dwelling among us.” I’ve seen Death, both physical and emotional. I’ve witnessed the Resurrection of hope, people experiencing new life. I’ve observed Redemption, the kind that comes after radical forgiveness or revelation.

But Incarnation? What does that look like in my own life? How do I become “Incarnate” for those around me?

Then a friend of mine helped me to see it.

It’s in the struggles of life that we bear witness to the Incarnation. We “become flesh and dwell among them” in our failures, our ineptitude, our disasters and our sadness. When God became human and dwelt among us, he could answer our every question with the words, “But I understand.” Because he was born here. He lived here. He experienced pain and eventually death.

Every time I go through a difficult season, I am becoming the Incarnation for those around me.

I am becoming flesh and dwelling among them so that I can relate to their suffering. After the experiences I have had during the last three years, I can look at someone who has lost their job or is in financial hardship or who loses their house or is forced to move to another town, and I can say, “I understand.” I can say, “I’ve been there.” Because I’ve done all of those things.

When we become Incarnate for one another, we are better able to help each other carry the specific crosses we have been created to bear. On the other hand, when we protect ourselves from failure, when we design our lives around the pursuit of comfort and control, we maintain an unhealthy distance from the life that most people live. And if we stay in that space of comfort, no matter how often we celebrate the birth of Christ, we miss out on experiencing Incarnation in our own lives.

* * * * *

I went to bed that night, and I thought to myself, I will understand.

When someone tells me that they’re chasing their dream but it seems too hard. When someone tells me they’ve lost hope. When someone tells me that they feel boxed about by the world. When someone says they are angry at God. I will understand.

I went to bed that night and somehow it was a comfort to me.

What difficulties are you currently experiencing? How are these struggles helping you to become incarnate?


[photo: Serhan Keser, Creative Commons]

About The Author

Shawn's most recent book, Building a Life Out of Words, is the tale of how he lost his business, house, and community but then realized he had gained everything. He writes (almost) daily at shawnsmucker.com

  • Pingback: Losing Five Months’ Income (or, Discovering Incarnation)

  • http://www.outofmyallegedmind.com Nancy Franson

    I am watching my son struggle through a slow, painful season in his life, and he feels very alone. He tells me that I don’t understand, and he’s right. I don’t know what this feels like for him. I want to point him to hope in Christ, but I’m learning to sit with him in silence and just be. At the same time, I am finding a number of other mothers who are in similar places with their children. With them, i can truly say, “I get it. Let’s walk through this together.”

  • http://www.inamirrordimly.com/ Ed_Cyzewski

    Suffering certainly is so important when we reach out to others. The ability to empathize without offering pat answers is priceless. However, the process of uncertainty is really, really tough at the time.

    • http://www.devotionaldiva.com/ Renee Johnson Fisher

      I agree with Ed. Wow what a story. I remember when I was on the OTHER end of the spectrum. I had a contract with the same publisher as my first and the VERY day I finished writing it they decided to cancel my contract. I was D.E.V.A.S.T.A.T.E.D. It has since then taken a few more years and a new publisher and two re-writes and it’s finally releasing next year. What a journey, PHEW!

  • Rebekah Grace

    I was having a conversation with a new friend the other day and was sharing part of my story. I said, in part, “The pain of my past no longer defines me, so I am better able to be open and honest about it.” The pain of my now is a different story. So much up in the air, so much confusion. What did I do wrong? Where was the wrong turn I took? How can I get back? I read in a Thomas Merton book recently that we often run from the suffering and the feeling of loss of control to get back to where we had some kind of semblance of it. In my life the “before” was dark and mucky and mirey, so I waver (constantly) between being with Him or being with me.
    Today, I must choose to trust that He’s got my back, even now. No job. Struggling to put food on the table and keep the bills paid in a somewhat timely fashion. However, in recent weeks I’ve felt this call from Papa to root and ground me in Him for all my dreams and hopes and desires cannot come to any fruition if my foundation is in ruin. And like a tree newly planted in the ground, to help it become established, there is a ring of wire around it or ropes tied to stakes to keep it steady. So seems a good analogy of my life. I have many things I can say “I undersand” to. And if this is creating another, so be it.

  • jengunning

    I’m writing right now about the season of infertility we went through a decade ago. I’ve shared it person to person before, but never in writing for an entire world to read and react to. It’s a little scary, but I no longer worry about letting others into that part of my story because it’s too important not to share the whole story…the ugly pain and lost hope and then the restoration, the overflowing answer to prayer that we received. While I still don’t have answers to some of the questions I used to plead with God about, I’m totally peaceful now about the remaining “whys?” and actually, sharing the journey with others just getting started gives me such joy about my own season of loss. God is the master re-purposer and what He makes from the refuse heap is beautiful.

  • http://www.quietanthem.com/ Renee Ronika

    I know this is part of my calling: ” when we protect ourselves from failure, when we design our lives around the pursuit of comfort and control, we maintain an unhealthy distance from the life that most people live. And if we stay in that space of comfort, no matter how often we celebrate the birth of Christ, we miss out on experiencing Incarnation in our own lives.”

    The best way for me to tell you about how and why is here: http://www.quietanthem.com/2012/10/i-could-tell-you.html?m=1

  • pastordt

    I am truly sorry, Shawn. But I am also grateful for your honesty and for your hard-won empathy. Praying something even better will show up – SOON.

  • http://messymiddle.com/ Amy Young

    Incarnation. Thanks for that word — it helps to bring meaning and understanding to situations that are often difficult beyond what mere words can capture.

  • Pingback: Friday Five | Elizabeth Hyndman

  • http://www.facebook.com/christine.sorensenjeske Christine Sorensen Jeske

    Thanks for sharing. I work on and off as a freelance writer, too, and in the course of a year once lost two different book contracts through no fault of my own. Employment is a less and less certain thing for all of us, regardless of profession, these days, and it’s great to hear a perspective that carries us through that.

  • Allison Ellsworth

    I am living with my in-laws right now, substitute teaching as our main income. It has been a tough few years, but man my compassion for people in similar situations has gone way up and I hope to use that for good for the rest of my life.

  • humblewalker

    Great post. It really reveals a new perspective on how the challenges of life can contribute to our purpose.

  • http://longingsend.com/ sheila @ LongingsEnd.com

    Sometimes it is hard to follow hard after Him as we chase those dreams He has placed in our hearts, dreams that I believe are His call on our life. And as we both pursue and fulfill them, though, we shine in faith that will help a dark a dying world all around us to have hope. Hope in Christ.

    I never thought about that process as being the incarnation of Christ. Realizing this, it gives an even greater redemptive strength to all the dark chapters in my own life.

    Thanks, Shawn, for sharing. Great post. Looking forward to visiting your site.

    God bless you…