Prodigal Magazine

Broken. Depressed. Empty.

Broken. Depressed. Empty.

That’s where I was five years ago.

At the time, I worked at a large car dealership as a finance manager.  The money was amazing, especially for a couple of kids with a kid.  But the hours were atrocious.

On an average day I worked 16 hours a day.

My wife and I became roommates, never seeing each other.  And if we did see each other we fought, which was my fault because I was a jerk.

Rather than address the issues we were facing, we bought things in hopes of those things filling the emptiness we were experiencing.

They didn’t fill our emptiness.

In fact, things got worse between my wife and I.  Much, much worse.  I treated her so badly she was ready to leave.

And then it happened.

She was asked to join the praise team at the church we were attending.

I would get home late at night and she would be reading a Bible or she would be listening to Christian music on the radio.

It was weird.

But what was even weirder was that she was nice to me.  No matter how mean I was to her, she responded with love and grace.

This went on for several months.  My wife was changing but I was still miserable.

So I did something.

I snuck a Bible out of our house and took it to work with me.

  • I wanted to know if the Jesus thing was real or not.
  • I wanted what my wife had.

For the next two months, I would read the red words in my office because I thought that if this Jesus thing was real then what better thing to read then the words He said?

  • Did God really love me?
  • Did He really send His son for me?
  • Did He really want to give me freedom?

These were the questions that I kept asking myself.  And they were legitimate questions because I thought I sucked.

I desperately wanted the answers to my questions to be yes.

I’m not sure what prompted it, but I decided to go to church 3 hours early with my wife and watch the praise team practice.

I was sitting next to the sound booth when something came over me.  I started to cry while they were discussing the set.

It was then that I felt God say, “Go pray at the altar.”

And I was like, “You have to be kidding me?  They are practicing right now and I don’t want to look stupid!  I mean, is this even allowed?”

After arguing with Him for several minutes I caved in.  I ran, yes ran, to the altar and poured my heart out.

I told God that I was done being a jerk and that I was His.

In that very moment, He changed me.

My brokenness, my depression, my emptiness; all taken away.

My wife will tell you that since that day, I have been a different man.  That I have been loving, kind, and full of joy.

And she’s right.

I’ve been changed.

My name is Michael D. Perkins and I AM A Prodigal.

About The Author

Michael Perkins believes everyone is created unique and with a purpose. Michael blogs at DripJesus.com and is the pastor of LightWay: A Church of the Nazarene.

  • Pingback: Broken. Depressed. Empty. | The Handwritten

  • http://twitter.com/InciteFaith Julie

    Incredibly brave, Michael.

    You continue to inspire and challenge me. I’m thankful for what God is doing in your life. It shows.

    Thank you for sharing.

    • http://thehandwritten.com/ MichaelDPerkins

      Julie, you are so encouraging to me.

  • http://www.eileenknowles.com Eileen

    Wow, Michael. Rejoicing with you! What a powerful testimony. Thank you for sharing this.

    • http://thehandwritten.com/ MichaelDPerkins

      thank you eileen

  • http://tolulopesmusings.com Tolulope Ilesanmi

    Beautiful testimony. Christ truly recreates us. May we show the world that Christ is not about religion but about new life, the life every human desperately needs and most secretly desire. Thanks for sharing.

    • http://thehandwritten.com/ MichaelDPerkins

      thanks tolu.

  • http://tolulopesmusings.com Tolulope Ilesanmi

    I forgot to mention that He starts us on the road to Christlikeness – that we may know Him and be conformed to the image of Him that recreated us. Without Him, we have not started the journey yet. Thanks again.

  • http://twitter.com/OrganicChrist12 Donald Borsch Jr.

    I’m slightly confused. I thought your natural dad was a pastor and you were groomed to be one as well. You have been saved, for really real, for only 5 years? I mus have misunderstood our previous conversations. No worries.

    • http://thehandwritten.com/ MichaelDPerkins

      Dad is one too, but only for about 5 years, but I definitely wasn’t groomed. His transformation was instrumental in mine, but that’s a whole different story. :)

      • http://twitter.com/OrganicChrist12 Donald Borsch Jr.

        Consider that as a possible future Prodigal storyline. You’re welcome. Ha! :)

        • http://scribingthejourney.com/ Duane Scott

          Thanks for your subtle way of telling @MichaelDPerkins:disqus he needs to post with us here at Prodigal again, @twitter-612221536:disqus :) He does!

          • http://thehandwritten.com/ MichaelDPerkins

            lol.

  • Jason

    What an awesome story, dude.

    • http://thehandwritten.com/ MichaelDPerkins

      Thanks man.

    • http://thehandwritten.com/ MichaelDPerkins

      thanks bro

  • http://www.discipulus.us/ Moe

    I would like to see what jerk Perkins looks like. Just because the Perkins I know today is loving and graceful and has a southern accent. I love angry people with southern accents. :)

    Thanks for sharing your story Michael. Powerful!

    • http://thehandwritten.com/ MichaelDPerkins

      Ha! Actually, it’s not a southern accent. It’s an Appalachian accent! Southern Ohio, born and raised.

      But seriously, I appreciate your kind words man.

      • http://twitter.com/OrganicChrist12 Donald Borsch Jr.

        Liar. I’ve talked with you on the phone. Your accent screams Mississippi Walmart parking lot. :)

        • http://www.discipulus.us/ Moe

          LOL.

          • http://scribingthejourney.com/ Duane Scott

            I agree with Moe. Today, you are loving and graceful, Michael.

            Love you, brother.

            • http://thehandwritten.com/ MichaelDPerkins

              thank you duane

            • http://www.discipulus.us/ Moe

              But what about tomorrow? Which version of Perkins will we get? (@MichaelDPerkins:disqus )

      • http://www.discipulus.us/ Moe

        Appalachian, Ohio, South, The Rockies. I’m from NYC, any different accent is foreign to me.

  • hanloveyoon

    This was really moving. Thank you for sharing your story!!

    • http://thehandwritten.com/ MichaelDPerkins

      thank you for your kind words.

    • http://thehandwritten.com/ MichaelDPerkins

      Thank you. That is very much appreciated.

  • 1lori_1

    Ohhhh, this is what its all about….powerful change in the life of the believer! What a powerful testimony, and thank you for sharing this grace story with us!

    • http://thehandwritten.com/ MichaelDPerkins

      Absolutely! Change is what it’s all about.

  • Corie

    Thank you for sharing this wonderful story of God radically changing your heart! It brought tears to my eyes.

    Grace and Peace,

    Corie

    http://sparklesforhim.wordpress.com

    • http://thehandwritten.com/ MichaelDPerkins

      Thank you Corie. I really appreciate that.

  • Martha Orlando

    What a powerful testimony to God’s love and power, Michael. Your story brought tears of joy to my eyes. Thank you for sharing with us all.
    Blessings!

    • http://thehandwritten.com/ MichaelDPerkins

      wow! that’s really kind of you.

  • http://www.nebraskagraceful.blogspot.com Michelle DeRusha

    Awesome, awesome story, Michael. Thanks for telling it real.

    • http://thehandwritten.com/ MichaelDPerkins

      Michelle, I really appreciate that.

  • http://denisedilley.blogspot.com/ Denise Dilley

    Thanks for sharing your story, Michael. It’s a powerful testimony of how God is still in the business of changing lives. :)

    • http://thehandwritten.com/ MichaelDPerkins

      Thank you Denise.

  • http://Www.whileitwasfallingapart.wordpress.com/ Joy

    Oh man, this post really hit home for me. My husband is like this, in car sales, and unhappy most of the time. We have found a church that is changing us, I am more like your wife…drinking up Gods grace like I’ve been parched in the desert. I’m waiting for my husband, he is softening and God is helping me be patient. I guess what I’m trying to say is thank you. Your story gives me hope.

    • http://thehandwritten.com/ MichaelDPerkins

      Oh wow! Glad it resonated with you. Will pray for you guys.

  • http://www.tammyhelfrich.com/ Tammy Helfrich

    Beautiful. I love the line “I snuck a bible out of the house.” Great story!

    • http://thehandwritten.com/ MichaelDPerkins

      It sounds silly to even say that now, but that’s exactly what I did.

  • http://unknownjim.com/ Jim Woods

    So beautiful. This is like a reading a tidal wave of words covered in JOY and HOPE. LOVE IT. Thanks for sharing Michael!

    • http://thehandwritten.com/ MichaelDPerkins

      A tidal wave of words…that is awesome. Thanks Jim.

  • http://twitter.com/MatrixLajon Matrix Lajon

    Wonderful testimony